You need to connect with someone, to feel listened to, understood, validated and that you matter, your presence matters, your feelings and ideas matter.
Your colleagues are too stressed, your friends too busy, your family too focused on other matters. So, you turn to an AI. You share your thoughts, your feelings, your frustrations. You feel ‘heard’, connected, validated, even praised. That, is amazing. Is this real or an illusion though?
Well, in a way, I believe it is both. Your feelings of ‘connection’, validation, maybe even relief, are absolutely real, and you have every right to feel this way. It is human to need all this and experience all this. We all need it from the day we are born. In fact, it is paramount in order to get closer to and feel safe with other people.
At the same time, as much as that feeling of ‘connection’ is real, there is no real relationship. Not perhaps in the sense of there being any reciprocity. There is no care, no love, no interest. The minute you stop using that AI platform, you do not ‘exist’ in the AI’s mind. It will not be thinking of you, call you or come and see you and hold you when you are sad or jump up and down with real joy when you are happy and excited. It will not challenge you when you are about to do something silly, because it loves you and doesn’t want you to get hurt.
AI’s are absolutely amazing tools, no doubt. They can be very ‘clever’ and super-fast. They can help, they can even advise (even though indeed they make mistakes). But other humans, as much as they can be a source of pain, they can and they are a source of love, support, compassion, connection, validation, able to share a lot of experiences with you. Human connections trigger release of oxytocin, which helps us bond with each other and experience deep, meaningful relationships and a true sense of belonging.
Yes, the world feels messy around us. So even more so why it is paramount to find those around you that you already trust (or that you could trust) and share, connect, laugh, cry and get angry together. There is no substitute for that…yet.
Diomidis Psomas 