The AI R/Evolution

You need to connect with someone, to feel listened to, understood, validated and that you matter, your presence matters, your feelings and ideas matter.


Your colleagues are too stressed, your friends too busy, your family too focused on other matters. So, you turn to an AI. You share your thoughts, your feelings, your frustrations. You feel ‘heard’, connected, validated, even praised. That, is amazing. Is this real or an illusion though?

AI Generated


Well, in a way, I believe it is both. Your feelings of ‘connection’, validation, maybe even relief, are absolutely real, and you have every right to feel this way. It is human to need all this and experience all this. We all need it from the day we are born. In fact, it is paramount in order to get closer to and feel safe with other people.


At the same time, as much as that feeling of ‘connection’ is real, there is no real relationship. Not perhaps in the sense of there being any reciprocity. There is no care, no love, no interest. The minute you stop using that AI platform, you do not ‘exist’ in the AI’s mind. It will not be thinking of you, call you or come and see you and hold you when you are sad or jump up and down with real joy when you are happy and excited. It will not challenge you when you are about to do something silly, because it loves you and doesn’t want you to get hurt.


AI’s are absolutely amazing tools, no doubt. They can be very ‘clever’ and super-fast. They can help, they can even advise (even though indeed they make mistakes). But other humans, as much as they can be a source of pain, they can and they are a source of love, support, compassion, connection, validation, able to share a lot of experiences with you. Human connections trigger release of oxytocin, which helps us bond with each other and experience deep, meaningful relationships and a true sense of belonging.


Yes, the world feels messy around us. So even more so why it is paramount to find those around you that you already trust (or that you could trust) and share, connect, laugh, cry and get angry together. There is no substitute for that…yet.

Leadership Crisis

Since I was a trainee and once I qualified as a Counselling Psychologist, I have worked across several NHS Trusts and I’ve seen an uncomfortable pattern:
The NHS speaks constantly about values, compassion and caring — yet far too often fails to embody these principles where they matter most: in how people are treated.

The reality is stark.
Front-line staff give everything. They stay late, hold impossible caseloads, absorb emotional trauma because they genuinely care about patients.

And in return?
They’re too often met with detachment, language over action, and leadership hiding behind slides, slogans, ‘initiatives’ and ‘aspirations’.

No wonder so many feel betrayed.
Cynicism and burnout are not emotional weaknesses — they’re natural consequences of being repeatedly let down by those with power.

The typical managerial response?

  • More messaging
  • More “values” campaigns
  • More yoga and wellbeing suggestions — attempting perhaps to soothe rather than solve, achieving neither.

Meanwhile, an uncomfortable truth goes unspoken:
Many NHS leaders are not leading.
They are managing — preserving the system, not transforming it.

We have KPIs for almost everything — except the things that matter most:

  • Do staff trust their leaders?
  • Is there psychological safety?
  • Are people treated with dignity and humanity?
  • Do leaders truly care — or just say they do?
    We don’t measure these — perhaps because the answers would be uncomfortable.

And this is the tragedy:
A genuinely caring, people-first approach is within reach.
The blueprint exists.

It’s called Truly Human Leadership — a lived model with profound impact.
Yet Trusts default to familiar habits:
Policy first.
People second, at best.
Language over action.
‘Safety’ over courage.

If you are a leader in the NHS and this makes you uncomfortable, good.
Discomfort is the beginning of change.

The Truly Human Leadership movement is grounded in a radical yet simple measure:
“We measure success by the way we touch the lives of people.”

Imagine if NHS leadership were held to that standard — measuring trust, dignity and psychological safety as rigorously as targets and budgets.
Imagine leaders accountable for the emotional climate they create.
This future is not naïve.
It’s necessary.

I encourage you to watch the interview below and sit with what it evokes.
Reading Everybody Matters in 2016 changed how I see leadership — it may do the same for you. It doesn’t matter whether you are in a Leadership position or not, I would still encourage you to watch this and appreciate what true leadership, that puts people first, looks like.

This could literally change the world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6766oydXpw

Connections

As human beings we are wired to need and seek connections with other human beings. Yes, there may be a variety in terms of degree, but the need is there, to one extent or another, since birth. It is well documented that it is good for us to connect; psychologically, emotionally, physiologically.

I am often being told by clients that ‘this is not the way the world works’, ‘people don’t want to hear things’ or ‘are not interested’ or ‘it is too embarrassing to share’ or ‘others won’t get it, won’t get me’.

No matter what we think or say though, the underlying need is still there and remains unfulfilled. And hence we remain disconnected, isolated. By the way, there is no specific ‘rule’ that governs the world on this. If the people around you ‘can’t listen’ or ‘don’t get it’, maybe they are not the people you could trust and open up to. Or is it possible you assume they ‘won’t get it’, but you have never really tried?

Ok, perhaps don’t expect miracles; no one can be there for someone else 24/7. But as long as someone around you is trustworthy, warm, present, open and kind (all these to at least a significant extent)….then dare to share. Just remember to aim for balance and hence a healthy level of give and take.

Happy New Year…look after yourselves and each other